FRUITY SMURF
1. Fruity Smurf- This was going to be the first out of the closet Smurf. He had a bad hairpiece like Elton John. It was going to be a orange hairpiece, and he always carried around a teddy bear. He would of been best friends with smurfette and they would each do other's hair and talk about the boys.
2. Peeky Smurf- The pervert of the mushroom village. Peeky Smurf would always be found at night looking into other smurf's mushroom homes and waiting for a show.
3. Ali Kaba Muhamand- The only Smurf to legally change his name for his muslim
religion. " Why should my last name be Smurf, just like all the other
brothers that are tied down by the man."
Ali did'nt have too many friends in the Mushroom village, and usually spent
his day complaining with Grouchy Smurf about how the man is keeping them down.
4. Psycho Angry "Don't Piss Me Off Or I'll Light Your Mushroom house On Fire" Pyro Smurf- The name kind of explains itself doesn't it?
5. Easy Smurf- The only other female in Smurf village that Smurfette was so jealous of because she was.......just really good friends with all the male Smurfs.
6. Abusive Drinky Smurf- When this Smurf gets drunk you best just stay in your mushroom hut all night. He walks around the Mushroom village all night after getting drunk yelling "To hell with all you little blue sissys", and "Hey Smurfette howabout showing me a goodtime." The next day Drinky is usually in till five in the afternoon, and then cries to the other smurfs that it will never happen again. He is usually wearing a stained white tanktop and has a stoogie in his mouth.
"Don't Point The Camera At Me, Or I'll Moon You" Smurf
7. "Don't Point The Camera At Me, Or I'll Moon You" Smurf- He just
doesn't like getting his picture taken. This photo was taken right before
he was about to give us a show.
8. "We're All Going To Die!" Smurf- This Smurf would just run around the Mushroom village yelling "We're All Going To Die!" all day. He never engaged in any social gatherings and really didn't get along with anyone.
9. Militant Smurf- This Smurf kept trying to start a army to fight the government. Only problem was that half the Smurfs in his army we're in the government....small world. He would always yell in the center of Smurf Village about how the Smurfs were being repressed by the man, and now is the time to fight back. He called his army the Blue Panthers. They would wear black sunglasses, and carry shotguns, and red armbands, and walk around Smurf Village policing the area.
10. ILLEGAL ALIEN SMURF- This Smurf was just paranoid that he didn't belong and he always begged the other Smurfs not to turn him in.
11. Burn-out Rock Star Smurf- This Smurf would walk around Smurf Village in a Jumpsuit, with big sunglasses, and a cape, and ask if anyone wanted to hear him sing "Hound Dog." He also ate alot of junk food such as fried mushroom burgers. He Was FAT.
12. Bleeding Gums Smurf- Well this Smurf just had poor hygene.....Remember
to brush your teeth
13. Poorly Potty Trained Smurf- He just didn't understand where to go.
14. Big Sexual Boasting Smurf- This Smurf would go around the Mushroom Village all day boasting about how many lady Smurfs he's nailed.....funny wasn't there only one adult female Smurf in the village....he's said he's slept with 20,000.........hmmmmmmm.
15. Fatass Smurf- Fatty Fatty 2 by 4 can't fit through the mushroom door.
16. Donny The Badass Smurf- Spent his days beating the crap out of brainy Smurf, and cutting up pieces of the mushroom huts to sell to other Smurfs as a "Good High".
17. Ass Grabber Smurf- Nothing much to say about this guy except the boy just loved to pinch asses.
18. "I Ain't Afraid To Die For My Country!" Smurf- Very proud of his Mushroon village. Everytime someone threatened it... he would strap on a M-16, Gernade Launcher, Mushroom to air missles, and go after whoever tried to hurt the Mushroom village.....the question is....how did he make all these weapons in the woods!
19. BuckTooth Smurf- Just a real silly looking Smurf to look at. Kinda dumb too. Always peed in the watering hole.
20. Wacky Off Smurf- "Man he would just hide in his Mushroom hut all day, and I'd be damm if you couldn't hear him moaning and slapping!" A Quote From Hefty Smurf's New Book "The Smurfs The Government Didn't Want You To See"
21. Well Hung Smurf- No pair of white government issued Smurf pants could hide his pride!
22. Too Close With The Livestock Smurf- Ohhh boy Don't Ask!!!
23. Saviour Smurf- Always walking around the water and wine holders in the
village with a suspicious look on his face. He bothers the other Smurfs by
constantly asking them to examine his hands for the early stages of stigmata.
digbynet@sprynet.com
24- Spice Girl Smurf- No question the most annoying Smurf that never made
it. Kept singing stupid songs around the village and making up silly dances.
25- Puff Daddy Smurf- Took all the songs the Smurfs sang around the village like "La La La La La" and redid them with his own lyrics so he could make a quick profit.
26- Jim Morrismurf - Only Smurf to have tight leather pants in the Smurf Village, and use to trip on mushrooms from the houses and recite lyrics in the square like.....
" 99 TO 1 BABY
1 In 99
NO FEMALE SMURF
GET OUT ALIVE "
Taken from a passage from Jim's Book
" Light My Smurfvillage"
27. Trendy Teenage Girl Smurf- Tried to tan herself even though she was blue as Elvis on the bathroon floor. Also pierced her smurf tail when she saw every rock star was doin it on MTV.
28. Great Balls Of Fire Smurf- Felt he wasn't getting enough attention in the Smurf Village so sometimes he would drop his pants in the middle of the village and take some lighter fluid and.....BURN!
29. Elephant Size Poop Smurf- Funny this guy ate as much as the rest of the Smurfs, but when he went to the Smurf Potty......FIRE IN THE HOLE!
30. Grain Of Sand Size Poop Smurf- Uhhh opposite of the one above.