Corky:

Corky lives in a castle with her husband Timothy Dalton who serves as her man-whore--at least while she's a guest on the Jerry Springer show. Corky works for the National Park Service to count ALL the fish in national waters, and she makes a whopping 1,000 yen a year doing so. Corky likes to have sex hanging upside down in Santa's workshop with her Mister--Robin Williams, in front of her 5 other sex partners. It really helps that Corky's Super Power is Orgasm on Command. Corky likes to drive her fuscia PT109 in the Burmuda Triangle with her Bird Spider, but occassionally she can be seen riding around Venus in her Shadowrun Limo (Souped up, armoured, with lazer cannon on it). You can see Corky in the movie--Not Another Teen Movie, with her 10 kids--Bob, Buddy, Buck, Brad, Butch, Bear, Belch, Burt, Bart, and Moe.

Cletus

Cletus is married to Catherine A. who calls him Annoying. Even though she's a prostitute, Cletus is still in debt for $51,000. Maybe he does a poor job at being a He-Vagina. Misty, his mistress, waits for him in his vacation home--an outhouse at a construction site in Nevada. Cletus has only one kid though--maybe it's because he only likes having sex while hanging from a chandalier with one toe. Cletus drives an old blue slugbug with wood paneling while he goes to his shack. The slug bug is Super Stinky, which goes with his super power--incredible annoyance. You can see Cletus in the movie Mono Dies Tonight, which stars his pet Mono. Although the film was made on his pig farm, all he wanted to do was visit the Dead Sea. Cletus has had -5 sex partners, which may attest to the attractiveness of Catherine and Misty (Masterbation also counts for the negative numbers, because of their attractiveness or lack thereof.) Cletus' hobby is beating up noodle butt with his Playstation5.

Punster

Punster lives in a shack with Minnie Pearl, the toenail inspector who calls him SirBoomsAlot. Although Punster works as a gopher marriage counselor, he only makes 10 foodstamps a year to support the 2.5 kids he tried to have with Jessica Alba by attempting to have sex with her on the roof. However, since he hasn't had sex with Anyone, he must have hatched the kids himself. (It must be that he wears out his women with his Orgasm at Will super power.) Punster drives around in his vomit colored and vomit textured toy boat, that flies around the Dead Sea. What Punster really wants to do is tame gophers with his sidekick--an American Cockroach, while he's in the North Pole. If you'd like to see Punster in a film, you can watch Debbie Does Dallas, where he dreams about having sex with Debbie while sporting his wearable computer at his house in the middle of an active volcano.

I Da Hoe

I Da Hoe's wife is Reese Witherspoon, and she calls you Romeo. She works as a police woman. He's a fighter pilot instructor who makes $500,000.00 a year--and he needs to, because between his wife Reese and his mistress Kathy, he has 67 kids! Must be because he likes having sex in a big field in the middle of the night in Australia. I Da Hoe drives a Shadowrun Limo that is 3-toned flames--Blue to black to purple, and it has Super Hydraulics! He has X-Ray vision, which goes well with his pet--the Eagle. He starred in the movie: Debbie Does Romeo, which was shot in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. Then, I Da Hoe went to his place--a castle in Europe, where he had 8 more sex partners while he was practicing to be a nympho. The best thing is, I Da Hoe owns The Dream!!! 8)

NoodleDoodle

Noodle is married to Lindsey, who calls him Noodleboy just because she's an archaeologist and found/dug him up. Now he works at McDoodles and makes $1,000.00 a year. Although he has 1 million kids, he must have HATCHED them because he's never been with anyone but himself. AmpLisa never had sex with him because he only wants to do it up and down while he's in Ireland. Noodle drives an old purple Bug with wood paneling. The car also has Super-Stinkiness. It's a good thing Noodle can become invisible, because that lets him ride roller coasters for free with his pet caterpillar. Noodle also can be seen in the movie Armageddon, but he didn't play a very big part because he only wanted to spend time in his Pig Farm that can be found right off the Mississippi River. Although Noodle has a bike that's feuled by battery cells, he can't afford to charge it. Poor Noodle can't even afford his Shack. 8(

Tass

Tass lives in a shack with his wife Angelina Jolly who works as a Playboy Bunny and calls him Zack. Tass is a Computer Repair Technician who makes a million dollars a year--and he has to because he has to support his mistress Pamela Anders and their 200 kids--it must be because he likes to do it Doggy-Style in groups of 5. Tass drives a Shelby GT500 that's Fire Red and has a Rocket Launcher. It's a good thing that Tass can become invisible because he owns a White Tiger and his shack is in the ultimate Gay District of San Fransisco. Although you can see Tass in Armageddon, he was really too busy Juggling in the Carribean while riding a battery-powered skateboard.

Will

Will lives with his wife Jenny in a house that sits in the middle of a Pig Farm right in the center of K-Mark. He has a hard time supporting his mistress Brandy Bright and his 3 kids on just 365 cents a year. People call him Cheff, and maybe he should get a different job--like becoming a Web Page Designer in the middle of a Splooge Pond. It's a good thing he rides his Rainbow-colored bicycle to work, although it does make it more difficult for him to have sex in the back of a car in Australia. It does make it better that his bicycle can fly--especially since Will suffers from Obstinent Stinkiness. You can see Will star in the movie--Gay Caballero's with his pet Chipmonk. Will's hobby is writing books about his 1 sex partner while watching TV on his Ultimate Entertainment Center.

MASH/CASH (Mansion, Apartment, Shack, House OR Castle, Apartment, Shack, House.)

Wife/Hubby; Wife/Hubby's Job; Nickname for Yourself; Your Job; Your Money/Year; Your Vacation Home; Number of Kids You Have; Mister/Mistress; Favorite Way to Have Sex; Vehicle; Vehicle's Color; Super Power for Vehicle; Super Power for Yourself; Pet; You Starred in What Movie; Body of Water You Own; Land You Own; Number of Sex Partners; Hobby; Techno Toys.

There are 3 in each category that the player picks, one that the decider picks. The decider's picks always go as the fourth choice. The decider picks a number, and adds it to a number the player picks. That is what tells the future. If the player picks number 5, and the decider picks 2, the magic number is 7. Every seventh option is crossed out until there is only one option per category. This is how the "future" is decided. We like to make it as funny as possible. 8)