What A Year!

JANUARY - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight

FEBRUARY - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels.
Helllloooo!!!! Bottles won't fit in typewriter!!!

MARCH - Got really excited! Finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months. Box
said "2-4 years!"

APRIL - Trapped on escalator for hours. Power went out!!

MAY - Tried to make Kool-Aid. Wrong instructions on packet. 8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!!

JUNE - Tried to go water skiing. Bummer. Couldn't find a lake with a
slope.

JULY - Lost breaststroke swimming competition. Learned later that the
other swimmers cheated. They used their arms!

AUGUST - Got locked out of my car in rain storm . Car swamped because soft-top was open.

SEPTEMBER - The capital of California is "C", isn't it?

OCTOBER - Hate M & M's. They are so hard to peel.

NOVEMBER - Burned turkey. Baked it for 1 1/2 days. Instructions said
20 minutes per pound and I weigh 108.

DECEMBER - Couldn't call 911. Like there's no "eleven" button on the
stupid phone.

WHAT A YEAR!!!