weakens the carpet fibers.

Say this with a serious face,

and shudder delicately whenever

anyone mentions Carpet Fresh.

2. Dust bunnies cannot evolve

into dust rhinos when disturbed.

Rename the area under the couch

"The Galapagos Islands"

and claim an ecological exemption.

3. Layers of dirty film on windows

and screens provide a helpful filter

against harmful and aging rays

from the sun.

Call it an SPF factor of 5

and leave it alone.

4. Cobwebs artfully draped

over lampshades reduces the

glare from the bulb,

thereby creating a

romantic atmosphere.

If your husband points out

that the light fixtures need dusting,

simply look affronted and exclaim,

"What? And spoil the mood?"

5. In a pinch, you can always

claim that the haphazard tower

of unread magazines and

newspapers next to your chair

provides the valuable Feng Shui

aspect of a tiger, thereby

reducing your vulnerability.

Roll your eyes when you say this.

6. Explain the mound of pet hair

brushed up against the doorways

by claiming you are collecting it

there to use for stuffing

handsewn play animals

for underprivileged children.

7. If unexpected company is coming,

pile everything unsightly

into one room and close the door.

As you show your guests

through your tidy home,

rattle the door knob vigorously,

fake a growl and say,

"I'd love you to see our Den,

but Fluffy hates to be disturbed

and the shots are SO expensive."

8. If dusting is REALLY

out of control, simply place a

showy urn on the coffee table

and insist that "THIS is where

Grandma wanted us

to scatter her ashes..."

9. Don't bother repainting.

Simply scribble lightly

over a dirty wall with an

assortment of crayons,

and try to muster a glint

of tears as you say,

"Junior did this the week

before that unspeakable accident...

I haven't had the heart to clean it..."

10. Mix one-quarter cup

pine-scented household cleaner

with four cups of water

in a spray bottle.

Mist the air lightly.

Leave dampened rags

in conspicuous locations.

Develop an exhausted look,

throw yourself onto the couch,

and sigh,

"I clean and I clean

and I still don't get anywhere..."

Originally from HERE.