Jan 31, 2007 5:38 AM She made me cry last night....well, she didn't make me, but it happened, and I don't do that. She was getting ready to leave, but seemed hesitant, and I asked her if she needed anything. She asked if she should get something, and I told her that was her choice. Then I noticed her hands.....her hands were purple. Seriously purple. She had been in the warm buiding al night, so it couldn't be that they were cold. I asked her why her hands were purple, and she lost it. They are putting stuff in her to cut off her circulation. They want her dead, they're going to kill her before too long. Then her voice changed, but she still seemed to be Regina. Her voice got deep, and she said they were gassing her right now, and she's been fighting all night to be good. They were gassing her and she couldn't breath, she was suffocating. then she lifted her shirt a little bit, and my God, she was bloated and looked like she COULD'VE been filled with gas. I guess htat's the whole mind over matter thing. Anyway, the "they're goign to kill me" thing just triggered something and after she left, I ran to the back and cried. Adult protective services......who are they? I've never heard of it. My fear? Maybe I'm selfish. I don't want her to hate me like she hated her family when they had her locked up once upon a time. In PA, she can't be forced to stay there unless she's posing a threat to society or herself. She got out before......then resented the people who did it because they were working with them to try to make her think she was crazy. I guess I want her to know she has a problem, but I don't want her to make me one of "them". This is why I was confused. Like I said in my blog, there are similarities to soem of the stuff Sybil went through, but mostly it's different. She also made a reference to the devil in her speil last night. She said they wanted her to look like the devil. they wanted her to do things that the devil would love, but she'd been trying to go to church. However, they attack her badly when she goes to church. EArlier that night, though, it was nice. With Regina being really the only other full grown adult I worked with, we spent a lot of time talking. Somehow we got on the topic of mental illness and people who are disturbed. I gave her my take on the whole thing. We have a kid there who is so ridiculously passive agressive, he's gonna lose his job. He sabotages things when he gets mad at people. She and I were talkign about him, and I had said how hurt I was when he got back at me because I always tried to be nice to the kid, but this one night he was being lazy and wouldn't do ANYTHING. She, too, had tried to be nice to him, took him under hiswing, and she said, "He turned out to be bad." My take on it? He's not bad. He doesn't know how to face up to frustration or anger, or he didn't have the balls to say, "Hey, quit running me ragged", so he got back at me. He didn't do anything dangerous or extremely harmful, just enough to send the message. She pondered this and said, "Wow, you could really be on to somehting. I never looked at it that way before" So there ya go, perfectly normal person. Then that other person at the end. It's weird....very weird. Thanks for listneing, reading, etc. Teh counselor I saw when my parents divorced was very getting into the nitty gritty. She even would share some of her own life events I guess to make me see her more as a person or friend than a shrink. However, it was hard for me to swallow, and I didn't have a lot of faith in her. We'd end up sitting there like old friends in couseling, and it started to feel like we were a waste of each other's time. I like the lady, and we always talk when I see her at work. When Nana died, she told me I was more than welcome to come by if I needed to talk. Self therapy worked best for me. I know self therapy probably isn't highly recommended, but it's what I had to do to face the things I didn't want to face. Maybe that's my obsession with psychology.....my own craziness. lol. Anyway, I need to get over to neo and do freebies before I head into work. Thank you again for the info!! I think I came to you on it because I trust your judgement on it the most. ----------------- Original Message ----------------- From: Teddy Weiche Date: Jan 31, 2007 3:29 AM If she's missing big blocks of time like that then I would agree with the whole DID thing. Hell - I've never heard of it but her main personality could have schizophrenia!!! But usually to have the auditory hallucinations - to hear the other personalities - it's usually schizophrenia... If she's just not aware enough to pay attention - then she might think she put enough gas in. Michael does that sort of stuff all the time. 8( With her loose version of reality it'd be hard to tell unless you spent time with her and were able to catch on to whether she's losing the blocks of time or just imagining it. The work attire made my antennae go buzz. (Working on sleep deprivation here and overworked.) I would've guessed psychotic break but if she was hearing voices before then... 'course, it could've just gotten worse. (Mind you all this is speculation because I don't know this chick as well as you do - and you're a pretty damn smart cookie. I'm just spurting information to arm you with in case you don't have a bit or a piece of it.) I'd alllmost talk to "adult protective services" about her - as she almost seems dangerous to herself - ESPECIALLY if she's going out and partying and can't remember or protect herself. She honestly seems very very scattered. The answering to Regina at all times makes me think schizophrenia - just as the mode of dress makes me think DID. If I had to make one decision between the two it sounds like schizophrenia. The scattered sense of reality, the actual hearing of the voices... paranoid schizophrenia if they're out to get her, and it's the nurses fault that she lost her job, etc.... IF there really was a penis drawn on her wall and it wasn't just a hallucination, then I'd guess she'd lost some time and think DID. (I totally agree with you that she wouldn't be faking - it sounds waaaaay too scattered to think that. Besides - I trust your judgment 'cause you've got a good read on people and would probably see a fake.) I think your redirection tactic was AWESOME. That's pretty much all you can do at this point if she's not going to take medication. I have a serious feeling that she would be hospitalized for a long while until they stabilized her (if possible). Then, she'd get out and not take the meds because of the voices... it's a really horrible cycle. 8( Woman - I'm sorry if it seemed I was thinking you said it was a copout. Never crossed my mind a Bit. I was just emphatically agreeing with you! Too many people don't realize the hell people with mental illness go through. 8( nononononoooo - I definately didn't think she was putting on an act at all - like I said, I totally trust your judgment! 8) 8) 8) (Sorry if this seems rambling... I kinda was reading yours, would respond, read yours, respond - and my own rambling got in there too. Sooo - I hope this makes any kind of sense... I'm pretty braindead lately with the whole working-through-sleep, and working too late and too much. grrah.) Mar 12, 2007 3:34 AM I'm not sure if you still want info on this lady or not, but thought I'd share. Okay, Tuesday night, sent her to close the side lobby. I sort of dread doing this because when she gets back, I find she's in one of her "states". This time she comes back talking about being decieved and someone trying to distract her. I ask her who. She says she can't talk because every word she speaks fills her with gas. So I turn around and angrily(I wasn't really angry, but sort of putting up the front to see what she'd say) ask her who is doing this to her. I tell her I want names. I tell her I'm angry at them for hurting her, and want to tell them off and tell them to leave her alone. she grows quiet. Shortly after, she's acting like her normal self again. My hypothesis(is that would it would be?) Well, Dave brought up that when she goes to do side lobby, she's alone. When she's alone whatever goes on insider her head is louder, there's no distractions, nothing to fill her head with something else. Makes sense to me. About my questioning her....if she does have other personalities(or even if she don't) the realization that I'm "on to her secret" was enough to snap her back into reality. In that movie, Cybil's worse fear is someone figuring out her other personalites, the others don't want anyone to know them. Again, not educated here, so I could be off base. This morning she came in, said she went to church on Sunday, and now the steering in her car is messed up. Said she just had work done to the steering by a very competent mechanic, so it has to be that she went to church because every time she goes to church, they mess with her car. I was not in the mood to by shrink sheila this morning, so smiled and nodded as I left work to go home. I take it things aren't good with you and tom again? If you need to talk, you know how to reach me. Dave lost his job.......he clocked in from a break 2 mins late....go figure. He'd just hit the 5 year mark a few weeks ago, too. He's able to collect, so I told him to take this month off. Other than that, things are okay here. Sheesh, I guess you knew about him losing his job since you answered that blog I posted. LOL Maybe I'm the crazy one after all. lol. Take care, and if you don't want anymore info on Regina, let me know, and I won't send anymore. Mar 12, 2007 10:16 AM Flag as Spam or Report Abuse [ ? ] Subject: RE: RE: Regina Body: I'm off today(Monday) and Friday. I could use a month off myself. lol Work sounds ridiculously stressful. I think looking for something else might be a good idea. lol. My memory......my brain hasn't been in the best of shape the past week or so. A lot going on in this head of mine, but things are looking up. Don't forget, too, that I sent that after I was up all night. lol. I have my blonde moments. lol If you want to call later tonight or something, feel free to. If you call from your cell phone, you can call my cell phone and it won't cost a thing. :D I'd love to hear from you, and if you need to talk, ramble, cry, scream, I'm happy to lend that shoulder. Michael is Schizo, right? I want to make sure I have the facts straight there. lol. So do you think our theories make sense there? I'm gonna go, cuz my eyeballs aren't ready for much yet. Just woke up earlier than I wanted to. Had to pee, and then couldn't go back to sleep. Bleh. ----------------- Original Message ----------------- From: Teddy Weiche Date: Mar 12, 2007 7:33 AM lol - wow... your memory is usually amazing to me, so I was really lost when you started talking about Dave losing his job. lol. I need to call someone else tonight... when are you off this week? I really have been missing everyone and everything. 8( The info is good. Michael can't be in quiet places for long or he starts listening to the voices in his head and it's Much harder to resist what they're saying. 8( I Can't Imagine what that would be like. 8( Ooooo - taking a month off sounds GOOD.... I'm so burned out. lol. They've added me to Another school ~ That makes SEVEN schools I have where most only have 1 or 2 max! Then... I have a caseload of 56, and most only have in the low 40s! The caseload wouldn't be too bad if it weren't for the whole 7 parent meetings, 7 parent-child-review meetings to talk about all the kids, 7 sets of school teachers to know things about (total of 10 classrooms!).... Anyway - I'm rambling... lol. I gave Tom 2 months. We Seriously need a boost, or we need to give up on it. I dunno though... I'm soooo wishy washy... If it's just passable and not bad, why should I leave?????? grrah. Hope you have an awesome day today. 8) I'm going to do my Monday Morning Ritual of looking for another job op. Talk to ya later!