For the not-so-well-off, turning six, seven or even the big One-O need not be the cause of B-day blues for ither the celebrant or the cost-conscious parents. Here is Pee-wee's recipe for a happy birthday party at any price. Take it away, "P" Man!
"O.K.! Rule No. 1 is: Do it yourself. Don't pay a professional Madonna impersonator to host your birthday party for $375 and hour just to prove she is a material girl. (I wonder what a character impersonating me would cost?) Rule No. 2: Choose a theme.For my party I picked the circus, which just so happens to be the theme of my new movie, Big Top Pee-wee. Rule No. 3: Remember that you are not the star of your own birthday party--just the superstar, heh heh!"
"Put detail in your decorations," says Pee-wee in Rule No. 4. "For my circus party theme, I've thrown confetti around for sawdust, put an elephant trunk on my doornob, and asked the world's tiniest ma, Michu, to help out. Rule No. 5.: Defy conventional wisdom on how many to invite (your age plus one, twice your age, etc.). Invite only good gift givers."
Rule No. 6: Clowns cost up to $250, and other pro cutups just don't cut the mustard. It's more fun (and cheaper) to hand out makeup, funny noses, and fright wigs and let your guests clown around. Keep it neat, kids! Rule No. 7: You cannot have too much food. I like food that is tasty and, most of all, fun. And we're off, with a couple of hot-rodding hot dogs. vroom, vroom! Chew your food slowly, no speeding! Watch out for toothpicks, heh heh! Gee! It's me on a pizza. Everything tastes better with some Pee-wee personality. Mmmm, pink pettermint piglet ice cream treats. I love ice cream, but I'm not going to marry it. Here' s a good idea: Collect melted ice cream, pour it into a bowl, and make ice cream soup. Serve with animal crackers, like these neat tiget paw cookies. Yum, dinosaur dip. I think I'll eat a radish rodent. Oh, look, baby chick eggs and frog eggs too. There are grapefruit elephants that no one will eat. It is important to have nutritional food available, though! One of my guests is having a Big Top Burger. Just don't serve any grownup food, like spinach in phyllo. Rule No. 8.: Don't wear anything to a party that you can't spill something on. That's why I have 40 of these suits. Rule No. 9: Throw caution to the wind and have no seating arrangement. Rule No. 10: Let 'em eat cake. (But if your guests sing, 'You look like a monkey, and you smell like one too,' no cake for them.)
Rule No. 11: Always bear in mind that we gather together at birthday parties
mainly to enjoy the warmth, fellowship and closeness of our good friends--and
to get presents. Rule No. 12: Only the birthday boy gets to open them. Rule
No. 13: Don't constantly interrupt the party to snap pictures, nut when you
do, be sure to get someone who knows how to focus, heheh. Rule No. 14: I cannot
say too much about the importance of a great goody bag. Ideally, it's contents
go along with your theme. I'm handing out tiger water pistols, chimpanzee
key chains, and icky glow-in-the-dark lizards. It is not necessary, however,
to give out goodbye kisses to girls--especially bearded ones. Rule No. 15:
Don't wish too hard when you blow out the candles. My wish was for a puppy,
and look what happened. This is a perfect example of why you should not put
too much emphasis on cost or brand name labels. Rule No. 16: A birthday party
should have abeginning, middle, and end and the middle part should last about
two hours. Rule No. 17: Always send a thank-you note for the gifts you have
recieved. Here's how I'd do it: Thank you so very much for making my party
so swell! I hope you had as much fun as I did!Oh yeah! Thanks for the cool
gift too. I will always remember it... and feed it! Your pal, Pee-wee Herman.
(P.S. to Life readers: Follow my rules and next year you'll be older, wiser,
and you'll never be a party-pooper."--P.W.)