JL: This is his first talk-show appearance ever as himself, please welcome Paul Reubens!
JL: Well thanks for coming! Well you usually come on, well you have come on in the past as Pee-wee, are you a little nervous?
PR: [hold up secret-word-type card that says, "NO."]
JL: No. No, you're not nervous. Are you gonna talk at all tonight, do you think?
PR: [holds up a card that reads, "MAYBE."]
JL: Okay, I'm going to ask you a question that doesn't require a "yes-or-no" answer. OK, um, Paul, what time is it?
PR: [presses button on watch: *BEEP* (computer voice):"It is twelve-oh-five a.m."]
JL: Oh, very good! Now, people want to know what you're like so you have to, you have to speak.
PR: [in Pee-wee voice]: OK
JL: Okay, that's very good. That's what we call a beginning. Ok that's very good. But that sounded like Pee-wee though.
PR: [in Pee-wee voice] It did?
JL: See, that sounds like Pee-wee, it doesn't sound like Paul.
PR: [lowers voice] No, that's...this is my real voice.
[*cheering*]
JL: Ooohh..very Cary Grant-like. Now, let me ask you about your childhood. I've always wondered about this. What kind of a kid were you?
PR: Well, you're probably going to find this a little difficult to believe, I was kind of a weird kid.
JL: Come on, come on.
PR: Probably no one will care for this story except my sister, but when I was a kid, probably six, seven years old, I had this great whale wallpaper.
JL: Whale wallpaper.
PR: Whale wallpaper.
JL: Big whales or little whales?
PR: Wallpaper with...whales about this big. I had, and I'm not bragging about this, I had a booger chart. And one of the whales, on my wallpaper was completely, like, 3-dimensional.
[laughter]
JL: The part that fascinates me is, why your sister would love this story.
PR: Well, because she used to tease me about it and, now the secret's out about my booger chart.
JL: Right, right. I'd imagine, um, that's pretty much your childhood in a nutshell?
PR: That's it.
JL: How about this movie. You're in this movie as someone other than Pee-wee.
PR: Yeah, I play a character called "the Spleen."
JL: The Spleen!
PR: The Spleen. My superpower is flatulance.
JL: I think we need to explain what the movie is about.
PR: And I'm not bragging...
JL: Yeah, again, not bragging. And when it comes to that, even as Pee-wee, you were the king.
PR: Yeah, thank you.
JL: Yeah. Let me ask you, now in this movie Mystery Men, these are all superheroes?
PR: Superhero-wannabes.
JL: Superheroe wannabes.
PR: Mostly people who don't have huge superskills.
JL: Right. But they want to be superheroes.
PR: There's the Shoveler....The Shoveler, Invisible Boy...phenomenal cast, a real amazing group of people.
JL: Right. It's a wonderful group. But how does someone prepare for the role as The Spleen, the flatulance guy? How do you even...
PR: Well, I made, you know, some slight modifications in my diet. More roughage...
JL: Roughage.
PR: Brocolli, cabbage, beans, legumes...
JL: You don't smoke, do you?
PR: No.
JL: All right. You have a clip of yourself as The Spleen? And what's happening in this clip? You're meeting the other superheroes?
PR: This is, I think, my first appearance in the film.
JL: I think you did a wonderful job in the film...
PR: Thank you, thank you.
JL: Let's take a look. Here, you're meeting with the other superheroes, trying to get yourself into their group. Let's take a look.
[Mystery Men film clip plays]
JL: So what's next for Paul Reubens after this?
PR: I start next week writing, a, a new movie called The Pee-wee Herman Story.
JL: Okay, all right, you're gonna do Pee-wee again?
PR: I am.
PR: It's a movie about fame. Pee-wee Herman becomes famous in this movie and turns into a monster.
JL: Into a monster?
PR: Yeah.
JL: You've been traveling, too?
PR: I've been traveling, I've been all over the world, I was just in Africa, I've been everywhere.
JL: You've brought some photos, of your trip?
PR: I did.
JL: What's this first one of?
[screen shows picture of Pee-wee superimposed next to Cindy Crawford.]
PR: This is Cindy, obviously, everyone knows Cindy.
JL: You were traveling with Cindy Crawford?
PR: Yeah. Cindy and I on, I think it's the Loveboat, I can't make out the...background. This was a great day.
JL: And you have another one?
[shows another superimposed picture]
PR: Next one is me and Vendela.
JL: Vendela?
PR: Yeah. That's, I believe, the Sahara. Really hot that day.
JL: Really warm? Yeah, but it's dry heat.
PR: Yeah. It would've been fantastic if you could have been there.
PR: I just finished a western...played a cowboy murderer rapist bank-robber.
JL: And you're the hero?
PR: No, I'm the bad guy.
JL: Okay, you're the bad guy. Let me ask you about traveling. Do you learn languages? Are you good at that?
PR: I've been studying languages, yeah, for a couple years now.
JL: How many languages do you know?
PR: I know probably fifteen languages.
JL: Fifteen!?
PR: Yeah. 1-5, not 5-0.
JL: Okay now, can you say something in, uh, let's try Middle East, Farsi?
PR: Farsi is one of the ones I really don't know that well yet.
JL: French?
PR: I'm still working on French.
JL: Now Spanish is a language almost the world...
PR: Spanish, si.
JL: Now, I don't want to tax you too much, I mean obviously you can only do so much. It was fun to have you, will you come back to see us some more?
PR: I hope so.
JL: Always a pleasure. Paul Reubens, ladies and gentlemen.