Night of 08.15.2007

Background: Jeff overlooking a lot & being blind to my personality flaws.  Also Jeff's ridiculous wild-woman (making wild excuses not to date him, including financial excuses).  Watching Big Brother & seeing them smashing guitars to find tags inside.  Carl.  there was another one but it's slipping so I'm going to type - Venice, and watching LA Ink ~ stevo was in Rio Di Jeniro (soooo can't spell that) when he was 5. Rio de Janeiro (was closer than I thought).

Snippet: I was in some living room that was mine, and I was ashamed of roaches being everywhere.  There was one person I know there that has had issues with bugs, and one was crawling on that person. 

Another Carl dream... I'm remembering it mixed up.  I found him... and was blathering on about how I had the phone number to his mom's for forever & was never ballsy enough to call it to find him.  I knew he smoked, but was okay with it & he was the only one I know who I'd be okay with smoking.  He was pretty trashy looking in that he didn't have a shirt on and was in a run-down apartment.  A guy roommate was working out there too.  And I was overlooking that, although I'd thought about how it would be harder on my financially because I wouldn't be getting more comfortable and more financially stable, but would be going the other way.  

I was looking outside, and it was raining (I just remembered this part).  And Carl was thinking that he'd like to be out in the rain.  I was already out in the rain and felt the fine mist on my face and was enjoying the feeling.  Then he was outside, and we were making out on the ground.  We were almost to the point of no return when a message from God was delivered in the form of a bible verse.  All it was was numbers, not the book, and I can't remember the numbers... it was in the 100's, and had a decimal and one number after the decimal.  So we stopped, but just fell into cuddling and being so very close physically and emotionally.  I looked down and his back was flattened and he had a rat-tail.  He was literally a rat, but I was still close to him.  (weiiiiird)  So we got up, and I was getting dressed behind this bush so no one could see me, but there was this car with people in it RIGHT on the other side of the fence (like 2 feet away from me) and so I was getting dressed anyway.  Tom was also there, and he'd seen Carl but didn't know I was still feeling so close to him, so I didn't want Tom to drive by the house and know that Carl and I were cuddling, or even talking.  I felt really bad about it.

The night progressed, and Carl and I just went to sleep.  My "Mom" was there (it was me, my Mom-self) and she was trying to figure out what the hell was going on that I was there.  But she also thought it was really romantic.  (Not a thought to Tom.)  And when she woke up the next morning (we were all in France somehow) she wondered how the mail-carriers got paid so much and did so little.  There was a mail carrier going by and he just smiled, because he knew she'd find out soon enough.  So then the mail carrier had the same type of really thick pottery-mug we were using to drink out of, and he smashed it on the ground to reveal a message.  It exploded into confetti & everyone knew what happened and the resulting explosion created a party and my "mom" figured out that Carl & I were getting married, or together, or something & my "mom" cried because she was happy.  WEIRDDDDD.